That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
high people should be assigned attendants
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
