Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
