If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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