He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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