I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
