She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize