I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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