so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
