If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
