i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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