my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
