I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
