There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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