Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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