If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
