no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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