Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
