you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
