whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
