it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
