I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
