I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
