just tell him i said nine months
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
