RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
