I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
