What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
