I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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