plz talk dirty to me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
