What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize