my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
