It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You took a bar mat shot.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize