then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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