There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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