Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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