i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
