Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize