He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
