yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
