she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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