I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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