i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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