Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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