this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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