The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
