My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
