Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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