Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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