I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Welp...herpes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
