Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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