My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
