That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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