Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
