this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
