Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
