There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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