If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
