Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
