If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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