I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
