They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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